Obama’s speech to students results in many children now claiming: “Communism is the best!!”

Right wing’s irrational fears of Obama turning their kids into socialists realized

Professor Obama at work teaching his class the fundamentals.

Professor Obama at work teaching his class the fundamentals.

WASHINGTON D.C., –  President Obama planned on giving the nation’s students a little pep talk on their first day of school today.  However, news of the speech riled the feathers of many right wing pundits who viewed the speech as an effort by the President to indoctrinate the nation’s students into socialism. Some parents saw Obama’s speech as such a threat that they kept their children home today, and others requested their children be excluded from viewing the President’s speech. The outrage and protest amongst these parents was not enough to derail the speech, which went off without a hitch as the majority of the nation’s students viewed the President’s address.

Evidence of the speech's impact could be found in this fourth grade class picture, which clearly shows the students have embraced communism.

Evidence of the speech's impact could be found in this fourth grade class picture, which clearly shows the students have embraced communism.

The President’s speech focused on creating a responsibility amongst students for their own education, and did not contain anything in the way of proclaiming socialist or communist ideals. Despite the speech’s complete lack of political agenda, the immediate impact of the speech was nothing short of shocking, as now an overwhelming number of the nation’s students are  self-proclaimed communists.

The results of the speech could be found in speaking with area school children immediately after the airing of the President’s speech. One area second grader, Timmy Goldstein exalted, “from each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needs.” Another area first grader Stacy Davidson stated, ” we the proletariat, will be victorious in overthrowing the bourgeoisie.” Comments like these have become commonplace in schools throughout the nation. One area school even reported that a kindergarten class turned to violent protest over their right to use only red colored crayons for a coloring assignment in which they were asked to color an ocean scene. 

Such statements and behavior have left everyone from school teachers and principals, to administration members scratching their heads in disbelief.  One area vice-principal said, “I have no idea how these kids have grasped such a complicated idea like communism from just viewing Obama’s speech,” and added “especially since many of them couldn’t even recite the alphabet earlier this morning.” Parents are equally dumbfounded, as one area parent told Unreasonably Safe Observer – “I don’t know how the President’s speech resulted in my kid telling me he is ‘refusing to be enslaved by the capitalistic shackles of his allowance’ and will not do his house chores until we conform to his communistic ideals.” Obama could not be reached for a comment, but is expected to hold a press conference later on today to address the members of his newly formed kids-for-communism party.

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4 Responses to Obama’s speech to students results in many children now claiming: “Communism is the best!!”

  1. ObamaHater says:

    Thank god I didn’t send my kid to school today!!

    • LucyLuisFyne says:

      At least this President cares about education enough to address our nation’s students and encourage them to do well!!!

  2. Oldyeller says:

    @ObamaHater- you’re an idiot if you think you’re dumbass kid would understand communism!

  3. ObamaHitler says:

    I bet Hitler gave his students a pep talk to start the year too!!!

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