Rush to buy NFL team, fulfill dream of ‘owning a bunch of black guys’
October 13, 2009 19 Comments
Rush Limbaugh’s plans to rename team ‘St. Louis Monkeys’ comes under fire from NFL for being overtly racist
ST. LOUIS, MO - Radio host Rush Limbaugh has never liked the idea of African American NFL quarterbacks, but until now he’s only been able to make racist comments about the topic. However, it might only be a matter of time before he can actually do something about it. Rush is rumored to be part of an ownership group that is hoping to buy an NFL team, and fortunately for Donovan McNabb- it’s the St. Louis Rams.
Sources close to Rush say that owning all or part of an NFL team would fulfill his dream of “following in my great, great grand-daddy Scooter’s footsteps.” Rush’s great, great grand-father Scoot Limbaugh was a wealthy cotton grower and slave owner. Scoot’s wife Anne, who he reportedly married at the tender age of twelve, died giving birth to Scoot’s only son, Rush’s great grand-father – Haste Limbaugh.
Rush has not made his love of slavery a secret and has been quoted as saying: “I mean, let’s face it, we didn’t have slavery in this country for over 100 years because it was a bad thing. Quite the opposite: slavery built the South… I’m just saying it had its merits.” Rush has also made numerous racist comments on the predominance of African American players in the NFL including saying: “[it] all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons.“
It should come as little surprise that the NFL Players Union has publicly opposed Rush’s plans to buy the Rams. Which prompted Limbaugh to issue this reply: “Who cares if the players don’t like the idea. Because guess who owns all of the teams? Rich white guys- That’s who! And guess who happens to be a rich white guy? Me! So there you have it.”
If those comments were not damaging enough, yesterday on his show Rush announced his plans to rename the NFL franchise- the St. Louis Monkeys. “Let’s be honest here folks, the Rams are losers and have become the laughing stock of the league. I think the quickest way you turn everything around is by changing the identity of the team. That’s why I plan on changing the team name to the more apt- St. Louis Monkeys. You can figure out why on your own.”
In addition to playing for a racist owner, many Rams players are worried about the negative impact Limbaugh will have on the team’s supply of pain-killers. The majority of the team fears a shortage of pain-killer medication is all but assured if Rush becomes team owner. A few players are even concerned Rush’s fixation with male genetalia might lead to the installation of hidden cameras in the showers.
These fears were among the many complaints cited in an e-mail the Players Union sent NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. The Union has threatened a league-wide player’s strike if the Rams were sold to Limbaugh. Goodell is only expected to comment on the issue if Limbaugh’s group actually makes an official bid on the team.
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