Joe Wilson yelled “You lie!” during Obama’s speech on a dare

Rep. Joe Wilson claims Sen. Chuck Grassley promised to let him into ‘Gang of Six‘

Rep. Joe Wilson seen here telling Grassley "You don't know me, I'm the craziest SOB you've ever met brother!! I got bigger balls than just about anyone here not counting Biden...just watch Chuck- I don't give a f%ck!!"

WASHINGTON D.C., -  During President Obama’s moving speech on health care Wednesday evening, South Carolina Rep. Joe Wilson (R) yelled out “You lie!” when the President stated his plan would not provide coverage for illegal immigrants. Many who heard his comment instantly began speculating that such an outburst could only come from someone with touretts syndrome. Although the jury is still out -Wilson denied he has or has ever suffered from touretts syndrome- but did not provide any suporting evidence to justify his denials. Wilson released this formal apology immediately following the conclusion of the President’s speech:

This evening it looks as if I let my emotions get the best of me when listening to the President’s remarks regarding the whole health care thing. But there is more than meets the eye here. To be honest with y’all, I frankly don’t know enough about all this health insurance mess to agree or disagree with the President’s statements about them Mexicans getting their hands on my health care. Rather, my comments were a direct result of Senator Grassley challenging me by saying: ‘I didn’t have the balls to pull a Glenn Beck and scream out something illogical and crazy during the speech.’ He even claimed ‘Pelosi has got bigger balls than you.’ He also said he was ‘so sure I’d chicken out that he’d be willing to bet his own membership in the Gang of Six that I wouldn’t do it.’

Iowa Senator Chuck Grassley challenged Joe Wilson to pull a Glenn Beck during the President's speech on Wednesday.

Now, I wasn’t going to let ole’ Chucky get one on me, plus the Gang of Six are so awesome, everyone knows they throw the biggest keggers in D.C. Plus, I really wanted one of them leather jackets they wear with the cool number 6 on the back of it- I’d be like the Fonz of the House man. So, I yelled it loud as hell, unfortunately I didn’t time it right cause- at the very moment I  started screaming everyone decided to get quiet. So all you heard was me screaming ‘You lie!’ I know how all this must look, but trust me we pull much crazier crap than that all the time over at the C-street house. Anyways, I also know without all this context- my comments might have seemed inappropriate to the viewers at home and the President. Hopefully, y’all can understand where I was coming from given the circumstances. I would like to extend my sincere apologies to the President for my outburst, and he also deserves an apology from Senator Grassley who started it all. Hopefully, I don’t think they’ll be any  hard feelings, because he knows that I don’t know enough about health care enough to have just blurted something out without being provoked.

Senator Grassley could not be reached for comment and is expected to address Wilson’s allegations in the forthcoming days.

20 Stupidest Prostester Signs

The First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution protects everyone’s freedom of speech and right to peaceably assemble.  However, the Constitution doesn’t have any intelligence requirements to exercise those rights….

20. Juice is pretty harmless, if not healthy for you

19. Ummm....they did in 1936

18. Too easy

 

17. Nice

16. How true

15. Creative reference to awesome 80's show

Teabagging townhalls: Whose nuts? Whose mouths?

Teabagging, as shown by this video, has the potential to ruin the lives of kid, and it also has the potential to ruin our chances of having an educated debate on health care.  The term “teabagging” is  slang for the act of a man (teabagg-er) placing his scrotum in the mouth or on, or around the face  of another person (teabagg-ee), often in a repeated in-and-out motion.  The practice resembles dipping a tea bag into a cup of tea.  By now you may be asking yourself what this weird sexual act has in common with health care.  The answer is everything.

The media has been struggling to characterize the teabagger movement.  Some media outlets are quick to call them all crazy (notably MSNBC), some try to keep an objective stance on them, while other outlets (notably FOX) are happy to promote them as innocent patriotic protesters.

WATCH OUT OBAMA!! The last time Chuck Norris denied reality, it temporarily ceased to exist.

Sure, Jesus could walk on water...but Chuck could walk on Jesus' face

I’ve had nightmares this day would come!! Unfortunately, that day has arrived. Chuck Norris is after Obama….(seriously)…. to show him his birth certificate. The birthers’ dream of throwing the President out of office has now become a scary reality, if not an inevitability. The birthers, if didn’t know, are a fringe group of crazies who insist that Obama show them his birth certificate on a daily basis, even though the birth certificate is readily available online. These nutjobs pretend like they’ve never seen it before, despite the countless copies he and his staff hand out like fliers at town hall meetings, and the tons more they’ve thrown out of cars traveling in the President’s motorcade. They inexplicably forget the surprise birthday party Obama threw for Birther leader Orly Taitz just two weeks ago in which the President, not only “made it rain” by dumping over 20,000 birth certificate copies on unsuspecting party patrons, but he also went as far as printing the invitations on copies of his certificate too. It’s like the movie Groundhog Day with these backwoods people.
They’ve been seen as a group of looneys, that is until today. You see, Chuck Norris sent Obama a letter (written on newborn baby flesh) in which he demands that the President show him his birth certificate.
Great!! Now these whackjobs have legitimate muscle behind them, just what we needed- WMDs ending up in the wrong hands. Norris and the birthers create an unstoppable redneck-tarded Voltron-like force, the likes of which this country has never seen before. When asked about the letter, Chuck responded by saying, “I’m going to see Obama’s name on some certificate by this Friday one way or another….if not his birth certificate then I’ll personally deliver his death certificate.” Obama had recently started to treat the birther’s daily requests as a joke and posted these “authentic” birth certificates on the White House website:

Obama's official Kenyan birth certificate

Enlisting the help of Chuck Norris can only be seen as a decisive victory for the birthers, because when Chuck speaks – everyone listens…. to themselves die. Birthers’ believe that Obama’s birth is a theory, much like Chuck Norris’ birth, except Chuck’s is known as the Big Bang. The government has not tried to hide its fear of Norris, as evident by the fact that he has never paid any taxes- even state sales tax. Instead, Chuck sends them his 1040ez forms blank – with only a stapled picture of himself crouched in attack-mode. Want another sign that Obama’s days are numbered in the white house? Chuck is not only a racist, he invented it….after Mr. T beat him in Tic Tac Toe once. However, this wouldn’t be the first time Norris ends the life of a President… back in 1963 he was responsible for killing President Kennedy. Many people think JFK was assassinated, however excerpts from the Zapruder film clearly show that just as Oswald fired his rifle, Chuck deflected all three bullets with his beard. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Top 10 Health Care Myths

Mandatory Civil War reenactments?

10.  Everyone will have to participate in Civil War reenactments at least once a month as part of the Civil War Reserve.

9.  Midgets/Dwarfs will be forced by the government to become the seeing eye-people for the blind. They will be on leashes or atop the shoulders of the blind.

8.  Government Health Care is really part of a secret plan for the very poor to become organ farms for the very rich and organless.

7.  Insurance coverage will be rationed depending on the results of an IQ test.  The lower the score, the less coverage you can expect. Sorry Nascar fans!!