FoxNews blasts Obama for wearing suit to plant tree

FoxNews claiming Obama’s newly planted tree will lead to communism

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Headline on FoxNews.com yesterday: "Timebomb Tree"

WASHINGTON D.C.  –  Last week President Obama planted a tree in the White House North Lawn. The tree planting ceremony lasted all of five minutes and was sparsely covered, if at all, by the mainstream media. In fact, there was no more than ten reporters in attendance.

Yet the same ceremony that barely registered not even so much as a blip on other news casts, has been exhaustively covered for five consecutive days by the only network brave and honest enough to report the truth-  FoxNews.  Much of FoxNews’ coverage has focused on claims that the  tree would lead to the spread of communism, and on questions surrounding Obama’s choice of wardrobe and gardening tools.

Glenn Beck tree

T.R.E.E. = The Reality is Everything Ending

Last Thursday FoxNews’ Glenn Beck devoted his entire program to showing viewers just how the tree would lead to communism. Beck warned- “America, you need to wake up and realize whats going on here, its no coincidence the type of tree Obama planted is the same as the one Stalin planted during his first year as leader of the Soviet Union.” Beck added, “it really began to come together for me when I noticed the President was really concerned with how evenly the soil was distributed. Its like I’ve been telling you all along- you have to read between the lines!”

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FoxNews claims Obama's shovels refused to grant them an interview.

Beck later went on to draw the tree on his famous chalkboard and labeled each of the tree’s roots as socialism, government intervention, acorn producing, and big spending bills. He scribbled Obama’s name on the trunk of the tree and claimed the planting of the tree signaled the “end of democracy as we know it. Democracy in this country has come full circle, it started with a President who chopped down a tree – and ends with one who planted a tree.” Beck even brought out his signature red phone and said, “notice how Anita Dunn and the rest of them over at the White House haven’t called me yet.” An emotional Beck closed out the show by noting, “Obama isn’t like you and me, just look at him… maybe I’m the crazy one, but do you know anyone who uses a gold plated shovel or wears a suit to plant a tree?” Read more of this post

Politicians and Pundits Howl-oween Bash Pictures

WASHINGTON D.C.  –  If the fun-loving bunch of politicians and pundits were looking for a break from a tense political season, then the Howl-oween Bash held this past Saturday evening was the place to be. Check out some of this year’s best & worst costumes:

Steele Shrek

Chairman of the RNC- Michael Steele as Shrek

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President Obama as Bert from Sesame Street

Fox News Sean Hannity Costume

Fox News' Sean Hannity

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Why Sean Hannity leaked photos of himself with hookers on purpose- ANSWERED!!!

From left to right: PIMP (Bunny brothel owner Dennis Hof), JOHN (Sean Hannity with pen), and HOOKER (Stacy Swallows Air Force Amy).

From left to right: PIMP (Bunny brothel owner Dennis Hof), JOHN (Sean Hannity with pen), and HOOKER (Stacy Swallows or Air Force Amy).

Hooker on Hannity: “he has been gladly paying good money for really raunchy sex with women he barely knows since well before 1990.”

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA –   An anonymous source close to FoxNews told Unreasonably Safe Reporter  the pictures circulating on the internet of Sean Hannity posing with prostitutes were actually leaked by Hannity himself. The source is also claiming that he actually did this to distance himself from the Glenn Beck rape controversy. The well publicized allegations that Beck raped a woman in 1990 has started to catch the attention of the mainstream media. They have been dumbfounded by the same question concerned citizens have yet to get an answer on- ‘If Glenn Beck didn’t rape a woman in 1990, why hasn’t he denied the allegations.’ Despite the growing concerns of citizens nationwide, Beck, Hannity and the rest of the FoxNews crew have remained mysteriously silent on the issue. That is until today, when the photos of Hannity carousing with prostitutes mysteriously began surfacing on the internet.

Apparently, the release of the photos was in response to the recent allegations that Hannity might have had a part in covering up Beck’s rape controversy. Rather than be dragged down by Beck’s problems, Hannity got out in front of the issue and released these pics himself in the hopes of creating a diversion, while also giving himself the opportunity to get his side of the story out before the liberal media was able to spin it. The message Hannity is putting out there is simple, “While it may be true that I used to be a whore monger, I at least paid for sex in 1990.”

Hannity and his honies after a lengthy session of 'in-depth investigatory reporting' and 'hard hitting revealing exposes'

Hannity and his honies after a lengthy session of 'in-depth investigatory reporting' and 'hard hitting revealing exposes'

More importantly, the photo leak effectively accomplishes two things. First it distances him from Beck and his rape controversy by creating his own quasi-controversy for people to focus on. Secondly, it serves to create a pretty rock-solid defense. Which is: ‘Sure, I used to squander hundreds of thousands of dollars a year on prostitutes, but that doesn’t mean I have a deep seated hatred of consensual sex. It simply means I used to have a deap seated hatred of non-transactional consensual sex.Read more of this post

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