Obama declares Biden Motorcade a threat to national security

Obama: VP’s accidents have saved or created 29 jobs in the medical and auto-body repair industry

Why does Biden's motorcade have a deep seated hatred of pedestrians?

Biden's motorcade en-route to a fund raiser in Albuquerque.

NEW YORK CITY, NY  –  Earlier today, President Obama finally responded to the public outcry of concerned citizens everywhere by officially declaring that VP Biden’s motorcade poses a threat to national security. So does any other vehicle, motorcycle, or Rascal Scooter even remotely associated with Biden. President Obama stated that all of Biden’s upcoming engagements for the next eight days have been canceled or rescheduled, and that the VP will be prohibited from using any official motorcades until further notice.

The media was expecting an official statement from Biden himself on the rumors, but he was noticeably absent from the impromptu press conference. But, Obama reassured Americans that, “the carnage Biden’s motorcade has left in its wake is very unfortunate. And I want to take this opportunity to make it very clear that the United States government is not in the business of injuring or killing its citizens by having Biden’s motorcade crash into them and their cars.” The President then added, “I always try to look at the brighter side of things, and according to initial figures, it looks like 29 jobs were saved or created because of Biden’s accidents. We are projecting that when its all said and done with, Biden’s accidents will have saved or created a total of 104 jobs. Granted, most of those jobs will be in the medical and auto-body repair industries, but they are jobs nonetheless.”

Biden's chauffeur doesn't believe in stopping for pedestrians.

The President’s declaration follows news that for the fourth time in eight days, vehicles associated with Biden have been involved in an injury-causing accident. One of the more publicized of Biden’s crashes occured on Tuesday evening. when an unmarked police car helping to escort the VP to a taping of The Daily Show in Manhattan, collided with a delivery cab.

That came on the heels of Biden-caused accident #2 in Albuquerque, New Mexico, where the VP was in town as the keynote speaker at a $1000/plate fundraiser dinner for local politicians. In that accident, a sheriff’s vehicle traveling in Biden’s motorcade collided with another vehicle. Luckily, this accident caused the least amount of damage as only one police officer was injured. Read more of this post


Supreme Court Unanimous: Rascal Scooter is Awesome

Court silent on whether access to Rascal Scooters is Fundamental Right

As an originalist, Justice Scalia, has always believed in walking. Which is why his decision to join the majority has left many  wondering if Scalia is softening with age.

As an originalist, Justice Scalia, has always believed in unassisted walking. Which makes his decision all the more puzzling, leaving many to question if he's getting softer with age.

WASHINGTON D.C. – The U.S. Supreme Court was in a rare mood of unanimity, issuing a dissent-free opinion on the key issue of the Rascal Scooter’s Awesomeness.

The unanimous ruling continued a recent pattern that may be moving the Court closer to Chief Justice John Roberts Jr.’s stated goal of greater collegiality. That goal has proven elusive since he joined the Court in 2005, with justices often reluctant to cede ground for the sake of joining the majority.

While Justice Thomas did agree with the majority, he disagreed on the issue whether access to Rascal Scooters should be a fundamental right.

While Justice Thomas did agree with the majority on the Scooter's Awesomeness, he did not think access to Rascal Scooters should be a fundamental right.

It may be too early in the term to declare a trend, and as Court-watcher David Barrow observed, rulings without dissents are easier to wrap up early in the term. Nonetheless, Barrow says, “Monday’s Rascal Scooter ruling sent a striking message of judicial consensus while belying any presumption of ideological division or conflict.”

While there was no dissenting opinions there was numerous concurring opinions on the Rascal Scooter’s Awesomeness, leaving many to think this might not be the last time we hear the Supreme Court on the issue. Read more of this post