Rush to buy NFL team, fulfill dream of ‘owning a bunch of black guys’

Rush Limbaugh’s plans to rename team ‘St. Louis Monkeys’ comes under fire from NFL for being overtly racist

What Edward Jones Dome Scoreboard will probably look like if Rush Limbaugh purchases St. Louis Rams. His hatred of SJax borders on insanity, especially considering he's the Rams best player.

ST. LOUIS, MO  –  Radio host Rush Limbaugh has never liked the idea of African American NFL quarterbacks, but until now he’s only been able to make racist comments about the topic. However, it might only be a matter of time before he can actually do something about it. Rush is rumored to be part of an ownership group that is hoping to buy an NFL team, and fortunately for Donovan McNabb- it’s the St. Louis Rams.

Sources close to Rush say that owning all or part of an NFL team would fulfill his dream of “following in my great, great grand-daddy Scooter’s footsteps.” Rush’s great, great grand-father Scoot Limbaugh was a wealthy cotton grower and slave owner. Scoot’s wife Anne, who he reportedly married at the tender age of twelve, died giving birth to Scoot’s only son, Rush’s great grand-father – Haste Limbaugh.

Scoot Limbaugh, wife Anne, unknown girl sans eyes, and slave housekeeper Pearl Shay.

Rush has not made his love of slavery a secret and has been quoted as saying: “I mean, let’s face it, we didn’t have slavery in this country for over 100 years because it was a bad thing. Quite the opposite: slavery built the South… I’m just saying it had its merits.” Rush has also made numerous racist comments on the predominance of African American players in the NFL including saying: “[it] all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons.”

It should come as little surprise that the NFL Players Union has publicly opposed Rush’s plans to buy the Rams. Which prompted Limbaugh to issue this reply: “Who cares if the players don’t like the idea. Because guess who owns all of the teams? Rich white guys- That’s who! And guess who happens to be a rich white guy? Me! So there you have it.” 

Glenn Beck’s A.A. sponsor decides to drop him too, but not because he’s a racist

Glenn Beck loses another sponsor… his A.A. sponsor

"I was at a recent meeting with the two, and you could almost drink the tension between them," said one AA meeting attendee who prefered to remain anonymous. (Beck pictured at a recent meeting wearing black shirt nearest the camera- and Tipple beside him to his left wearing white.)

You can now add Darenn Tipple’s name to the growing list of sponsors who have dropped the doltish FoxNews show host.  Tipple had been Beck’s AA (Alcoholics’ Anonymous) sponsor for the past two years; a feat many thought was impossible considering that in 14 years, none of Beck’s previous sponsors had lasted more than six months. Tipple’s feat did not go unnoticed though, as he was presented with the Medal of Mettle at an AA banquet yesterday.  The medal is the highest honor given by the organization, and is only given to those who have shown unbelievable courage to stay sober in the face of insurmountable obstacles.

An emotional Beck at a recent AA meeting.

In an interview with Recovering Drunkard magazine, Tipple claimed that Beck “was impossible to get along with,” and “he felt himself getting dumber the more he got to know Beck.”  He went on to say that, “Glenn always insisted that people call him GB,” and “there wasn’t a meeting that Glenn didn’t cry at, sometimes I’d find him all teary eyed before the dang meeting even started.” The experience of sponsoring Beck became so draining that Tipple was even assigned an additional sponsor just to help him hang on to his sobriety. When asked how he felt after telling Beck the news, Tipple jokingly said, “I feel like doing some serious celebrating and getting super sh*t faced, but I’m not.”

Glenn Beck’s crappy new sponsors

On a July 28 Fox News Show Glenn Beck called President Obama a racist who has a “deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture,” then as if remembering the President was born to a white mother contradicted…err, rescinded his comment seconds later.  The damage was done as ColorofChange.org quickly started calling for a boycott of his show, and apparently sponsors listened.  A large number of Beck’s sponsors have subsequently dropped him, which Beck has not taken lightly as supposedly he has been spending much of his off camera time alone crying in dark, musty stairwells.  How bad is he hurting?  Yesterday evil retailing giant Wal-Mart and seven other companies pulled their ads from his show.  Among the other 20 companies that have bailed on the blinkered Beck are:  GMAC Financial Services, Best Buy, CVS, Travelocity, Geico, ConAgra, RadioShack, Men’s Wearhouse, State Farm, Sargento Cheese and Procter & Gamble.

Hundreds of Beck fans have voiced support for him on a counter-protest Web site, which urges consumers to boycott the advertisers who pulled out of Beck’s show.  Judging from Monday night’s broadcast, their efforts seemed to work as there were plenty of new sponsors eager to fill the ad slots, including the following notable companies:

Fucking Asshole Towing Co.

Ashwipe Chimney Sweepers, Inc.

Big Dick’s Halfway Inn

Bunghole Liquors, Inc.